Diabetes 2 diagnosis - journal it.

Well, shoot. The diabetes diagnosis is real enough. Darn, here I am doing the stages of denial, bargaining, anger, and I don't think I have yet done depression in a profound way, there was the grief depression of losing my mother and for the moment, I am Very Happy again, even with Diabetes diagnosis. I like to think I've reached acceptance. Even so my experience with grief is that there is cycling ups and downs.

I am Very disappointed that the Paleo way of eating did not prevent my diabetes diagnosis. Although I am equally pleased that after several years of eating paleo, vegetables, fruits, no sugar, etc. are a way of life. I have to admit upon learning of the diagnosis, in my thoughts, I said what the hell, and began taking up all the foods on our No list. I feel though, that was more initial reaction. We are back to trying to manage the blood glucose levels, eating the healthy foods, and diabetic specific, not paleo specific.

I am also Very disappointed that for the years my mother had diabetes 2, I did not research it as well as I have my own. I do wish she would have shared more with me about her feelings as she was attempting to cope. She died last summer of cancer, that affected her liver, bile ducts. It was though the outcome of years of diabetes, fatty liver to cancer. She had lost her sight, her pancreas was not working with the hormone insulin, she had diabetic neuropathy in her feet, and I like to beleve that when the diagnosis of metastisized cancer arrived last June, she was weary of parts of her body acting in rebellion to her love of life and living.

I had realized that my own body was not performing as it once had and the gradual symptoms relative to diabetes were slowly forthcoming over the years. I had hoped that diet and exercise (walking) would keep the mean parts away - not going to happen. I would say I have been what medical likes to call 'pre-diabetic' for several years now, and this last dr visit the numbers were over the top, so I entered the diabetic zone. And now it is not so much a sad thing, appreciating what is left in years to me and loving the hell out of my husband who is the ultimate, major support in our journey into diabetes.

Having learned what I can learn about the disease, I understand it is not curable, I also understand it is not strictly because one is overweight, and sedentary, it can be genetic, and the very disease of the pancreas unwilling to do the job it once did can cause some of the weight, the desire to do less as the systemic effects in the body generate different desires. I can well remember my years of dancing, the years of Aerobic teaching, when I could move with flexibility, easily, and now my body has slowed down so much, it is almost a distant memory that I could, I did, it was real then, this is real now. I am happy though, life has picked up for both of us in spending our retirement days loving each other, we are Best Friends, as well as man and wife. And there are grandchildren who light me up when we get opportunity to see them, visit with them. Overall our life, having moved to different city, different state is the best it can be for me, for us. I am happy.